Jonathan Van Ness had a “devastating experience” after being accused of having alleged rage issues on the set of Queer Eye.
“I went through something so hard at the beginning of last year, which was this Rolling Stone article,” Van Ness, 38, said on the Wednesday, April 2, episode of the “How to Fail” podcast. “[It was] a devastating experience for me, but one thing that taught me was that my idea of self-acceptance [that] I thought was self-earned was really because of the validation of social media and so many of [my] achievements.”
Several members of the Queer Eye production team accused Van Ness of having rage issues in a March 2024 exposé published by Rolling Stone. The hairstylist categorically denied the “overwhelmingly untrue” allegations in a statement at the time.
“My sense of self-acceptance and self-love was so rocked by that experience that such an intense depression [amounted] — just so many experiences that got brought out to the surface that I never saw coming,” Van Ness said on the podcast. “It made me rethink so much of my career, so much of how I come across in public and, ultimately, it really did teach me that validation has to come from inside.”
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They added, “If I was relying on it from other people, media [or other] parasocial relationships, it will leave you a hollow shell of yourself. It was so traumatizing.”
Speaking to podcast host Elizabeth Day on Wednesday, Van Ness doubled down on his denial.
“Who you see on Queer Eye is who I am and there’s so much more,” Van Ness stressed. “I was always scared because I was like, ‘I don’t know if I could live up to this version all the time.’ There are times when I’m, like, snapping or short and I need to work on it. It’s a process I’ve been working on for 37 years. … There was a time when I didn’t know what my life would look like.”
The Netflix personality added of their current mindset, “I feel better than I did in a long time.”
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As Van Ness has learned to prioritize self-validation, they have also navigated being their authentic self in divisive environments.
“I live in Texas. I went there for Queer Eye season 6 and then my husband and I decided to stay,” Van Ness said, referring to spouse Mark Peacock. “It’s gotten worse — even in the last four years. Like, I don’t wear heels to dinner there.”
According to Van Ness, if they do wear stilettos to a restaurant, they need to “think about where the exits are.”
“I can’t run as fast if I’m in a heel,” Van Ness explained. “It’s our community, but it’s also gun violence [and] just violence, period. It’s just weird. I still love America but wish we could get it the f*** together.”