COULD your partner still be hung up on their ex without you even realising it?
One study has revealed that 36 per cent of people stay in contact with at least one of their former flames, with many admitting they do so because they haven’t fully moved on.
We reveal the seven red flags to watch out for to determine if your partner is still obsessed with their ex[/caption]
So if you’ve ever had that niggling feeling something isn’t quite right, it’s time to trust your instincts.
TV psychologist Emma Kenny has seen first hand how unresolved baggage from a partner’s past can creep in and disrupt a relationship.
“From my years as a psychologist and relationship commentator, I’ve encountered couples whose problems all boiled down to unresolved feelings for an ex,” she explains.
“The signs aren’t always obvious, and sometimes they’re downright surprising.”
Here, Emma reveals the seven red flags to watch out for.
THEY GET DEFENSIVE OVER RANDOM KEEPSAKES
YOU wouldn’t think a random postcard, a tatty scarf, or a half-used notebook could spark tension, but think again. When your partner clings to seemingly trivial items from their ex and refuses to let go, it could signal something deeper.
The excuse might be, “It’s just a nice pen,” but it’s not the object’s value that matters — it’s what it represents.
These keepsakes can act as sentimental anchors to a past relationship.
If their emotional attachment feels disproportionate, it’s worth questioning whether these relics symbolise a bond they’re unwilling to fully let go of.
THEY STILL LOVE ‘THEIR’ SONG
It’s a red flag if your partner is revisiting playlists tied to their old relationship[/caption]
ANYONE can discover a new artist or genre, but if your partner starts revisiting playlists tied to their old relationship — especially if they play them at home or in the car while giving nostalgic commentary — it’s a red flag.
It’s not the music itself that’s the issue but the emotional resonance it holds.
When a song or band is closely tied to a past romance, it can stir powerful memories.
If they seem unusually moved or slip up by calling it “our tune,” you might feel like an outsider at a private concert for two — one of whom isn’t even there.
THEY FOLLOW THEIR EX’S FAMILY ON SOCIAL MEDIA
If your partner keeps checking their ex online it might reveal unresolved feelings[/caption]
SURE, we all snoop occasionally. But when your partner goes beyond a quick check and fixates on their ex — tracking job changes on LinkedIn, following their siblings on TikTok, or poring over wedding photos — it’s more than curiosity.
Many worry about a simple “like” on an ex’s post, but a deeper issue emerges when they actively seek out this information.
This behaviour is a red flag, suggesting emotional entanglement. If they were truly over their ex, they wouldn’t need a constant stream of updates.
It reveals unresolved feelings and a reluctance to fully let go of the past.
THEY REUSE THEIR EX’S NICKNAMES… ON YOU
MANY dismiss this with a laugh: “Oh, that’s just what they called their ex, but it’s cute, so no big deal.”
Big deal indeed! If your partner has recycled a pet name from a past relationship, it could be an unconscious slip or a deliberate attempt to recreate moments shared with their ex.
Hearing a reused nickname can sting, suggesting the affection tied to it wasn’t uniquely meant for you.
While some believe reusing pet names helps them move on, it’s often a sign they’re still holding onto emotional baggage and haven’t fully let go of the past.
THEY ALLOW THEIR EX TO LEAN ON THEM
STAYING friendly with an ex can be healthy, but there’s a difference between being polite and acting as their 24/7 therapist.
If your partner constantly consoles their ex after bad days or rushes to help with minor crises, it’s a major red flag.
Many justify this with, “I’m just being nice,” or “I owe them,” but repeatedly prioritising an ex’s emotional needs over your relationship is concerning.
It suggests they may still be emotionally tethered to the past.
Acting as the ex’s emotional safety net can sustain an undercurrent of intimacy — and where intimacy lingers, old romantic feelings might not be gone.
THEY COMPETE WITH THEIR EX
HEALTHY competition exists in all areas of life, but it becomes a neon warning sign when your partner talks more about “beating” their ex than about personal growth or mutual success.
It’s easy to read this as harmless motivation, but the drive often comes from a lingering emotional tie to that past relationship.
If they’re trying this hard to one-up their ex, especially if it spills into daily conversations, there’s a pretty good chance they’re still deeply invested in what their ex thinks of them.
For someone who’s genuinely over it, the ex’s CV shouldn’t be a major talking point.
THEY ACCIDENTALLY BRING UP THEIR EX IN THE BEDROOM
If your partner has called you their ex’s name during sex, it’s a sign they’re still thinking about them[/caption]
THIS one is awkward, but it happens more often than you’d think. A survey by IllicitEncounters.com found 20 per cent of people admit to mentioning their ex during sex, often because they’re not as “over it” as they claim.
If your partner has called you their ex’s name in the moment or referenced something their ex used to do, it’s a clear sign their ex still lingers in their subconscious.
Even if dismissed as a “brain glitch,” it shows their ex occupies more mental space than they should.
Laugh it off to ease tension, but once the cringe fades, it’s worth having an honest conversation about it.
